Do we really like each other?

We’re not going to get anywhere as womankind if we do not appreciate that we need to band together – band together not against anyone or anything, but, for something positive.

All too often women are jealous of each other, they dislike each others' successes and triumphs, they secretly wish that another woman’s five inch heels will break under her and send her catspradling across the office floor, or road, or wedding hall. Why? Because they perceive the other woman to be prettier, or smarter, or in a loving relationship, or has brilliant children, or is better at her job and doing things generally, than they are.

The thing is, if this is so, could it be perhaps that these women put in the work to get where they are and achieve what they did? These women most likely made the sacrifice - and when I say sacrifice I’m not talking about the word or concept of sacrifice, here (no way am I going to gloss over such a term). I’m talking about what sacrifice really means, the down and dirty, real sacrifices such as going without proper underwear, giving up proper nutrition, closing their eyes to pretty dresses and shoes, neglecting sleep, giving up having salad or chicken with their rice and peas - to get where they are, or become who they are, or to create better opportunities for their children. So, leave these sistas alone, sistas. Leave them alone and make your own sacrifices. You can do whatever you put your mind to. You have the power to achieve. We are all so beautifully and wonderfully made!

I’ve had women bad mouth me already. And it hurts. Sometimes it hurts so much it feels as if someone gave me a punch in the stomach and took the wind out of me. That’s how much it hurt. But you know what? Every time I felt like that I began to feel more empowered too, because people doh pelt empty mango tree. There is something there that they are seeing, I’m doing something right, I’m on purpose, on track, on time. But it hurts all the same, because I know that I want to share who I am with these sistas, share my joys and achievements in helping them and me grow together, and having them do the same for me. And even more sad, is that I’m becoming very reserved in making female friendships. I am very friendly, very helpful, very supportive, very loving, but very wary of intimate relationships with women where I have to give too much of myself, because I know they will think or say (as they have before) “Who she feel she is?”

Who do I feel I am? I am you, sista girl. I am your womb, your vagina, your nurturing bosom, your emotional self, your potential. Essentially, I am you.  So there is no need to be afraid of yourself or be jealous of yourself.

We bitch and moan and complain that men do us this, society does us that, our piece of the pie is too small, we are unheard, unrepresented, unappreciated. But the truth is we do not appreciate our own ‘sistahood’ as we should, so why should others appreciate us? Listen girls, if we tap into only a small portion of our collective power, we could impact the world like BAM!

 Today in Couva, Trinidad, a widower is left with three children, one of them a newborn girl whose mother (Chrystal Boodoo-Ramsumair – may she rest in peace), died giving birth to her at the San Fernando General Hospital earlier this month due to alleged misconduct of doctors and nurses entrusted with her care. The nurses and doctors are to be suspended until a decision on their status is made after an investigation into the matter is conducted. A very alarming aspect of this scenario (well, alarming to me anyway), is that the Chief Executive Officer of the South West Regional Health Authority (a woman), is apparently hemming and hoeing about the tone or contents of the suspension letter being drafted to officially suspend the medical practitioners concerned, the letter that will facilitate the beginning of the investigation into Chrystal’s death, According to Anil Roberts (in his previous Spalk persona) - WHAAAAAT?

All you see what I talkin’ ‘bout? Where is this woman’s empathy for her deceased sister? Where is her compassion to bring a measure of closure to this unfortunate woman’s family, and some respect to her rights for proper care in giving birth (a fundamental woman rite). Maybe she thinks she is being fair to the workers of the SWRHA. But is she being fair to her own ‘womanhood’? Where is her compassion for the little baby (a girl, no less) who will never have her mother’s arms wrapped around her, or rub gripe water on her hurting gums, or put a plaster on her knee, or hear her cry when boys don’t like her braids? And more importantly, where is our collective voice in making sure that this does not happen to any of our sistas (or even us) ever again?

And what about Chrystal herself; who was she to her sistas? Was she compassionate?

And what about you, honey child? Do you reach out to the woman whose head is hurting, the woman who is worried because her child is not doing so well in mathematics, the woman whose husband doesn’t love her anymore, the woman who is excited about a potential promotion, the woman who just needs someone to share a deep, personal secret with and know that it isn’t going past your ears and lips?

Do you? Come on now, tell the truth.

Charms.